today is easter, Jesus is risen!

y'all won't believe it... MY PARENTS WENT TO CHURCH WITH ME!! to be honest I expected them to go to the park again but I was happy! Finally, my prayers have been heard

Things went on smoothly! But the church was more crowded than usual so we had to be standing up for most of it. when it was time to kneel my LEGS WERE SHAKING, THEY WERE BURNING, I COULDNT SPEND ANOTHER MINUTE so I stood up again, and then kneeled again, and then stood up again, kneeled again, stood up again. Next time im bringing a pillow to kneel on because there is no way im going through that again. I saw someone from school there aswell. Its some guy who I used to text all the time bevause i was too scared to speak to him in person.

Yeah, I was waiting for the spiritual communion prayer to be said. That's when my parents asked me if I was going to take the eucharist. I said I could, because im in a state of mortal sin, and that im gonna have to go to confession to receive it. Well, my loving mother pressured me to go up and take it, but I refused. My parents said that if im not gonna receive it, then why was I even at church to begin with? We then left.

When I was helping my mom in the kitchen I asked her a question

"Did you ever take me to mass when I was younger"

She answered along these lines: "Yes, but then we stopped taking you and your brother." I asked why. "Because we were scared of you two going to the wrong path".

"What do you mean by that mom?" I said

"We didn't want the two of you to become a priest or a nun."

NO WAY THEY STOPPED GOING BECAUSE OF THAT. What's even funnier is thay by that time 6 year old I WAS SET on being a nun. Like the younger me just said, "im gonna be a nun". So it's safe to say that their plan failed. LOL

I told her about how my younger self wanted to be a nun. She stopped what she was doing and looked at me dead in the eyes. And asked me what on earth was going through my head at that age. I wonder too, mother.

My cousin came over, I haven't seen her in 7 years. She has grown so much (she is my size, and IM VERY SHORT for my age 😭🙏, I am about 4'9, soooooo)

She stayed over for the night, so did her mom and my tio. My parents offered them their room to sleep in, so my parents slept in my room. Awkward. Yeah, I didn't sleep well because MOM kept snoring. Seriously, I could hear her going HOOONK SHOOOOO, LIKE?! AND SHE SAYS MY DAD SNORES I DIDNT HEAR A SINGLE PEEP FROM HIM

Yeah, Sunday school started, and I didn't know it was palm Sunday until the very last minute, there were some volunteers giving out small stands of palm leaves. I was hiding in a corner outside I the church, since for some reason they decided to do it outside today. I just looked around, and made eye contact with this dude from school. Infact, many of my classmates were there.

Well, my cousin left, and NOW IM AT A STADIUM!? I'm currently watching a soccer match between Mexico and the United States, the whole family is here, even my Grandpa. People are chanting around me and im kinda joining in on the fun too, even though soccer isn't really my cup of tea...

But it's really fun! I should be watching the game instead of typing this out on my phone. Like, MY MOM THINKS IM TEXTING MY FRIENDS 😭🙏. OH SOMEONE GOT A YELLOW CARD LOL, PLAYER NO.8!?

Im gonna sound like a broken record, but the school work. Its pissing me off beyond belief. I honestly cant wait to leave this stupid school and never look back at that building and this city too. Every single class is stressing me out, its like EVERY week there seems to be some major test. Oh? we just finished touching on a subject!? Well we have a test next week!!!! or that one graphics design class where the teacher always adds something new EVERY DAY. Cant even breathe either with my friends always bickering about eachother about some drama that happened half a year ago, LIKE MOVE ON!? I dont care.

Spring break is now over, now its time for me to go to that brick again, smh

This spring break was honestly kinda dissapointing! The whole week i was in my room, doing nothing, just the usual, playing pokemon, watching pokemon, praying, walking around to play pokmon go. It got boring so quickly, like i do not like speinding an entire day crammed by walls.

The only good thing that really happened was that my Grandpa came! I havent seen him in 4 years, so im happy to see him. Last time i saw him his hair was very black, not a single white hair strand, but now he hwas little strands of white hair, but its only obvious if you look close enough. He came yesterday! and i gave him a biig hug! He sad i've grown so much since the last time he saw me.

Remember the last post about that weird dream girl that tried to choke me a couple of nights ago? Well, she is back again! But this time, she's not trying to CHOKE me. No, no, she's trying to SEDUCE me!?!?

I dont even know what to do about this weird dream girl but she better back off cuz I aint into any of that stuff, but at the same time, it's kinda tempting to give in to her advances as a part of me wants to but a part of me refuses to because it knows that this girl has a hidden agenda. Like, im starting to lose sleep over this girl, like what if I wake up and she's right there? Looking at me? Its scary, everything about this is kinda scary

I got a holy water font from church!

There was this guy from Bethlehem at mass today, he was selling some carved wooden statues near the front to raise money to support the chrustian communities back in his home place! Let me tell you man, the statues were so pretty! there was a huuge St. Michael statue and i wanted it so badly! but my parents probably wouldnt allow me to have such a large one..

I was looking at the other stuff he had, he had rosaries, holy water from the Jordan river, even some Holy soil? never knew that was a thing! Thats when something caught my eye, a holy water font that could be hung on a wall. It was exactly what i needed! I bought it, went to the pews and sat down.

Mass was nice. My parent's didn't go (as always) but theyre telling me that they MIght go to mass with me next week. I hope they do! I wanna be with my parents!

Then we went to McDonalds and ate those hotcakes.

I'm done with all my work, i am free At last, i can finally rest. No more teachers, no more people, no more schoolwork! Only one more day before spring break! and freedom!

I feel happy! I am at my peak! Anyways, The prayer book that i bought on amazon came to my friends house yesterday and she wanted to read it because it had golden edges. I didn't know it had golden edges... when i finally got it it looked so pretty! Anyways that day my friends Art project didn't turn in, and this girl started reading the prayers from front to back, she read the whole thing so it could turn in. I think she spend like an hour or so reading form it until it finally turned in...

After that we played akinator on call. I chose a bunch of pokemon characters and she had to guess which one it was. We only got to play two rounds... the two characters I picked were Carmine and N. I love Carmine, she is so pretty. I love her sm

I havent had time to pray...you know what, im gonna be honest i've kinda been slacking off a bit, when i pray i sometimes close my eyes and accidentallly fall asleep. I don't know why but when i pray i feel a sense of dizziness.

Every time i pray the 20 decade rosary there always needs to be something thats gonna make me lose track, like my mom yesterday! I'm gonna tell her not to disturb me at 7 to 8 pm because thsts when i pray the most. PLus, its literally the only time of the day when im not worrying about school work, so yeah, im feeling more stressed than before. Isnt that so great!

Um besides that, everything has been the same. Nothing interesting as happened. My confirmation teacher has my phone number and I gave her mine incase I need help with anything. I also got holy water! it was in this little fountain, i never saw it before... i didn't think it was gonna be in the cry room lol.

I hate parties so much man.

Never liked interacting with people, so being at parties is my worst nightmare! So I just stayed with my parents in an attempt to avoid people. This week I went to this wedding, a civil wedding to be more specific, it was very nice. The bride looked pretty, and her man seemed pretty chill I guess. There was a lot of food, it was pretty good.

Little did I know that this brewed a recipe for disaster, for my parents at least. My stomach started to hurt. A lot. I couldn't bear the pain too long, so I laid my head on the tables and took a small nap. My understanding, beautiful, loving parents did not like this, so they told the bride that we were gonna leave because I was getting sleepy. Once we were on the road home, I was told that I was never gonna be taken to a party ever again... Wow! Isolation! not like im worried about that, they never took the time to include me in anything when I was younger, why would I be worried about that now?The next day my mom then told me that I ruined the mood, and that... im mentally ill! Okay? If you think im mentally ill, get me therapy then!?

And my mom keeps talking about it! She keeps telling me that it was my fault that we left early... not like I care