I have been asked multiple questions when I became catholic again.

"Have you come to terms with your SSA? Have you tried praying the gay away?" All those questions will be answered here!

NOTICE: Most of these are incomplete, but will be completed shortly

Q: When did you realize that you were attracted to the same gender?

A: I think I was about 8 or 9 years old. I was a huge Pokemon fan (and still am) and I was watching it on the TV. There was this one specific episode where Ash Ketchum crossdressed as a girl to fight the gym leader. I dont know why, but my younger self thought "OH! He looks cute as a girl! I wish he was a girl!." And then I developed a crush on a girl from the earlier seasons lol, I think her name was Lacy or something, all I remember was that she had an Electabuzz. The first girl I ever had a crush on was my best friend. However, due to a falling out we now despise each other. I wanted to be with her, but im thankful that I didn't date her because looking back she was very toxic.

Q: Have you tried praying the gay away?

A: Yes, multiple times and all my attempts to become straight have failed! Instead, I became gayer!

Q: How did you come to terms with your SSA?

I hated this part of myself the most for almost my entire life, it got so bad that I was close to ending my life a couple of years ago. While I was returning to catholicism I still felt uneasy about it, How was I going be faithful to a God who hates me? I remember thinking that all the time.

I discovered many things. One: I would need to accept that these feelings are a part of me, and ultimately there is nothing I can do. It is gonna be something im gonna live with for the rest of my life. Two: God does not hate me for my attraction, ultimately it's something we as humans cannot control, and he knows that. Three: And probably the hardest thing for me, I'll have to give up ever pursuing a romantic relationship with women if I wanted to fully follow God.

Q: Do your parents know about your SSA?

A: My parents don't know about my blog or my SSA. And I hope they never find out. If they did, there would likely be severe consequences, and I would be in danger. For the sake of my well-being, I have decided to keep these aspects of my life private from them.

Q: What is the main goal of your blog, and what do you hope to achieve with it

To be completely honest, the whole "being catholic and SSA " part of the blog wasn't even the original plan for this lol, originally it was gonna be kinda like a prayer site where I'd post and rant about the stories of the saints since I LOVE learning about them. I randomly thought about the SSA part while I was bored in AP physics class and decided to go from there.

To me this is just a journal. The only difference is that this journal is not only viewable to me but to the whole internet lol. Sometimes I wonder if this blog would ever serve a purpose to anyone, and sometimes I wonder if im doing more harm than good by documenting my thoughts here. Of course, im still trying to learn more about my faith, so this is kinda a learning experience for me as well and.