My name is Elari!

I am a 17-year-old Mexican-American girl who was raised in a catholic household by my parents for my entire life. However, I was never a practicing catholic until very recently due to me leaving the faith at a young age due to my sexuality.

Between the ages of 7-9, I realized I was attracted to girls. I would always fawn over the beautiful women I would see in ads, TV shows, and comics, but back then I thought it was out of admiration, now I realize that it was a romantic attraction. Due to this discovery at such a young age, I saw myself as less than other Catholics, believing that I was destined to go to hell for this attraction. I would spend days begging god to take away this attraction. Spoilers: it didn’t work.

It wasn't until 2022 that I started to believe in God again due to many personal, and mental factors. Its been hard navigating my faith and sexuality by myself, since doing so can be risky.

My parents have stated their disdain towards gay people and stated multiple times that if I ever turned out like that they would kick me out, or worse. My mother would also be in danger if this was ever revealed to them, as my father has stated: "If any of my kids come out as gay, it'll be your fault, and you will pay for it"

As a result, I started this blog to document my thoughts and my process of being closer to God while also trying to not be kicked out in the process

Following warnings for this blog:

• ENGLISH isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there are any grammar mistakes
• sensitive content: addiction, mommy and daddy issues, abuse.
• a lot of rants, especially ones about my interests (and school, there's gonna be A LOT of them)

I hope whoever is reading this has a wonderful day! Have a cupcake! 🧁

As stated before, i like to learn about a variety of different subjects, but i think my main subjects are History and Physics (math isn't really my cup of tea.) I'm obsessed with pokemon, I have a lot of plushies, and have been collecting anything pokemon-related for my entire life! I also love to collect old technology, such as radios, cassettes, and cds. I also love collecting pretty things, like statues and dolls.

Since this blog is ging from "i hate school grr" to "i feel isolated" and talking about sensitive topics such as addiction and family problems i might start posting some more light hearted content on here to keep a balance. and by light hearted i mean posting about stupid things like going to Dennys and how an old man was being interrogated by the police

New Neocities blogs will be made! Along with a couple announcements for an upcoming project:

1. New Project: The Willpower Project. A Project dedicated to helping people fight their addictions through faith and willpower.
2. Seperate Blog for pokemon, where I will talk a bout the latest pokemon news!
3. New Project: Make a new site for prayers, inspirational bible verses, and more!