The Den of Elari


I had a cough for about a week, it's gotten pretty bad now. When I cough I get a sharp pain around my ribcage and my mom took me to the doctor. However Miss Girl wanted to go to the thrift first, we didn't even find anything instead of some cute pants.

When we did go to the doctor we were waiting out in front for like an hour, My mom was on Temu showing me the stuff that was recommended to her, a lot of pans, kitchen supplies, dresses, to be honeslty was more focused on the pretty women that were wearing them rather than the dresses-

When we did get assisted we waited for another hour for the doctor to show up, my mom and I were almost sleeping in there until she said something about me. I dont even remember what we were talking about but at some point, I told her that I was touchstarved and that I craved physical touch.

Immediately she said something about how she didn't get any affection from her parents, and that I'm just complaining over the smallest things. She then said that I had the mind of a five-year-old and that I should get a job because getting a job would fix all of my problems. How lovely!

After that doctor's appointment we went home, I was in my room cleaning. Once I was gone I lay down on my bed and hugged my large Pikachu plushie. I think I have about, 5 Pikachu plushies. I have like 10 other Pokemon plushies and they are all on my bed. I love cuddling with my plushies! I know it's a bit childish but it brings me so much comfort pretending that the plushie I'm holding is an actual human being.

But nothing will ever replace the warmth of another human being. Nothing will ever replace the way someon eholds you, the way they play with your hair. So I fix this by folding my blankets and staking them on top of me while I sleep. It helps ease the irritation I feel when I dont get a hug from my mommy

I love mommy, i love her a lot, but she doesnt take the time to actually listen to me and to atleast understand my perspective, why vent to her whe she just says im overreacting and/or beng childish…

Uhh besides that, But i am getting a job in the summer, at a Whataburger. Its not like i have any options here, All we have in this city is a Sonic thats infested with rats and a grocery store thats filled with a bunch of old guys. im considering geting a job at my nearest Dollar Tree, i have friends who already work there, but my mom doesnt want me to work there because they scare her.