The Den of Elari

I think im a lesbian-

Wait, but then I'm just doubting this conclusion. Am I a lesbian? Or am I just bisexual with a higher attraction towards women?

Looking back when I was younger... I remember being friends with this neighbor. Oh boy, I always keep hugging her. When she wore dresses I would just look at her in awe. It was worse when she was in a swimsuit. I just thought she was so pretty…

And then that one guy i was “dating” in 2nd grade. Cant even consider it dating since i didnt even feel anything for that man. Then he broke up with me by handing me a letter stating “I dont love you anymore i have a new girlfriend.” AND THEN MY MOM TOOK ME OUT OF SCHOOL AND ASKED ME ABOUT IT BECAUSE SHE FOUND THE LETTER IN THE ROOM I USED TO SHARE WITH MY BROTHER LOOOL


Oh! Freshman year. I fell in love with this girl. Let's call her- Paper! Paper and I first met in 7th grade. She helped me in the highs and lows. Especially when COVID started. I remember making jokes a year before saying “Imagine a virus comes lol”. Yeah never heard the end of that-

In my freshman year in high school, I realized that I loved her. A LOT more than that girl in 4th grade. Each time I saw her I kind of shaked and couldn't even look at her. I held her hand and that helped me relax, She brushed her thumb against my hand, which made me blush so much. I wanted to date her, I even had a Valentine's Day card ready for her and a cute, small, red heart. But I had this feeling I couldn't describe, I wanted to be with her. I wanted to marry her and everything, Something just felt- off. I liked her for the rest of that year but distanced myself from her.

You know, I thought I liked this one guy? I dont even remember his name but it was straight from the bible that's for sure. (I used to sit next to him freshman year, but never really talked to him besides giving him my spare snacks when I was full) I thought I liked him, turns out I just liked his hair 😭. It was curly, afro-like hair, and it looked good on him know!? Well yeah, I wanted to compliment him But I never got the courage to since back then I was repulsed by guys, except the gay dudes- plus he always looked annoyed and I didn't really wanna bother him…

But he seemed like a chill guy, a little bit racist but sure. I only ever texted him because I NEVER had any classes with him. Tried waving at him but bro just ignored me. I decided that it was a waste of time and stopped texting him.

And then theres this other guy that i have for 3 classes, But i dont feel anything romantic towards him. I just think hes majestic, like a stallion

So- yeah, thats what happened. Elari might be a lesbian~ But maybe its not a good idea to dwell on that possibility-