My body yearns for physical affection.

I haven't had a hug in about a month. It doesn't seem like much but for me, it feels like forever. I'd be going on with my day, realize that I haven't had any bit of human contact, and I would start shaking. Then I'd start yearning for physical contact, even if it'd just a little peck on the elbow. But then the next second I'd be repulsed by human contact.

Sometimes when I'm at school I shake over it, it ain't fun. I have had people ask me if I was okay and if I needed something, it's so awkward having to decline whatever they wanted to offer. So to ease this, I decided to wear a hoodie at school, and I don't even like hoodies. But after looking at myself in the mirror I think I'm starting to get used to them, plus they are very warm. No wonder why people wear them.

It gets so irritating. I feel as if something is crawling deep within my skin, like small insects calling and jumping around. It's horrible. The tingling all over my skin grows by the day. Slowly becoming more and more uncomfortable. My skin seems to scream, "Please, I need affection," "Please! Please!"

I think I talked about the other methods I used to ease my touch-starved self. I think piling up blankets onto me was one of them, and hugging one of my plushies when I sleep. And I mean yeah, I'm does help me forget about it for a bit. But then the next minute my skin is tingling once it realizes that it isn't a human being that's giving me that warmth. Once I feel it happening I kinda just start piling more things on myself to make it go away cuz at that point it's just too comfortable to even move very warmly. Like a little cocoon!

Sometimes I fall asleep right then and there! And then I wake up and realize that it's school already and I panic! The amount of times I slept like that before suddenly checking my phone and realizing that it's around the time my alarm rings brings me absolute dread! Each alarm reminds me of the fact that I'm inching closer and closer to becoming a functioning member of society, I don't wanna turn 18! I'm just barely starting to enjoy life!

I want to be held, someone please hold me. Someone please just hug me, play with my hair, someone please just cuddle with me, the blankets aren't enough anymore, if I dont get physical affection I will go insane.