I'm gaining weight.

During summer break I was close to being about 95 pounds. For my mom, that's a death sentence! She wanted me to eat more but I refused, each time I ate more I just ended up feeling like I was gonna explode. I wasn't doing any better because I'd purposefully skip meals. My stomach has been feeling upset recently. It's only when I eat junk food like Whataburger and all those other places. Hours later I feel so bloated and it feels like something is stabbing me from the inside. Sometimes I even vomit.

I've been eating a lot of sweet things for the past month or so. Sweet things are probably the few things I used to cope with my issues years ago, so much so I ended up weighing close to 128-130 pounds at the height of 4'9 around 2021. Currently, I weigh 102, but I just finished eating so some of that weight is probably just the food chilling in my belly.

I always avoid looking at myself in the mirror. Loving my body is so difficult for me because I hated it so much since I was younger. I'm happy with my current weight, but Mom begs me to eat more to have more "mass" in my "areas if you know what I mean. I just ignore her but she does give me more food than usual.