When I pray I can't form any words, I just start sobbing

All i can do is just mumble "why" "why"

"Why can't you take me already"

"I can't take it, I can't take it anymore"

"Why didn't you leave me to die all those years ago"

"Please make the pain go away"

"Sometimes I wish I was never born at all"

"Sorry for letting my intrusive thoughts get to me"

"I wish my mom could take my mental health seriously and get me therapy"

"I wish she didn't call me weak"

"I feel like you abandoned me but deep within my heart I know you're always listening"

It's just a mess. A bunch of jumbled-up emotions piled into it.

And when I'm done I'm just sitting awkwardly, like what do I do now? I just poured my heart to God. I know! I'm gonna get on TikTok or Cookie Run Kingdom!