She keeps appearing in my dreams

I have never seen a girl like her ever, and yet she brings me so much comfort. She appears in my dreams every night. She holds me, plays with my hair, cuddles with me. She gives me everything i've ever wanted.

Sometimes i vent to her, and she listens. I wish i had her... as a friend...not a girlfriend....

It's gonna take a while for me to accept the fact that i will not have a girlfriend, it is the cross that i have to carry on this journey. I don't feel worhtless or anything, but I wish i wasn't like this because my parents will kick me out... but hey! i like men too, so it shouldnt be much of an issue, but i want a girlfriend.. a wife.

I need more answers, atleast some guidance on this, luckily my priest at the church i go has an email. Maybe i can schedule a meeting with him? But my parents are kind of an obstacle. They'll know that im hiding something...